Aquí les quiero compartir este articulo del periódico. Espero q les ayude en algo. | I got this from the news paper, I hope this can help.
Vivimos una era en la que cada vez más mujeres procuran abrirse camino en la meta por ser exitosas y autosuficientes. Ser abogada, doctora, delineante o empresaria son aspiraciones que hace décadas pudieron parecer imposibles para el sexo femenino.
Sin embargo, parece que este progreso no va a la par con el anhelo de dar con el alma gemela y vivir una relación de pareja estable. Daría la impresión de que estar preparada académicamente y contar con una remuneración económica aceptable sirve de freno para muchos candidatos que ven en estas circunstancias motivos que restan atractivo a una mujer.
“Se les está haciendo bastante difícil, y es una queja que cada vez estoy escuchando de muchas mujeres en mi práctica”, menciona el psicólogo clínico Luis Caraballo. “Muchas muestran niveles de desesperanza, frustración; se preguntan ‘¿me quedaré sola el resto de mi vida?’”, añade.
El también profesor del Departamento de Psiquiatría del Recinto de Ciencias Médicas describe que “las mujeres han evolucionado a muchos niveles, no sólo a nivel profesional, sino también a nivel personal y social. En términos generales, a nivel de madurez, de inteligencia emocional, está más evolucionada que el hombre, aunque haya sus excepciones”. A su vez, puntualiza que “hoy día hay mucha mujer más segura, que entiende y sabe lo que se merece como ser humano, y con esto no me refiero al asunto materialista”.
El doctor señala que ante este panorama, “hay hombres a los que se les hace más difícil bregar con una mujer con esas cualidades”, de ahí que sea tan común ver cómo “optan por buscar una que no esté tan desarrollada en esos aspectos”.
Muy segura de sí
El psicólogo reitera que “la mujer de hoy día es autosuficiente y realizada; no necesita de nada; es más segura, pero muchas veces son esas características las que hacen que los hombres se asusten”.
Caraballo enfatiza que “el nivel del juego subió. Hoy día, la mujer que llega a un nivel de grandes ligas, va a querer un hombre de grandes ligas. Ella aspira a algo no menor a lo que ella ha logrado”.
Al abundar sobre esta realidad, el doctor señala que “al hombre se le hace más difícil conocer a esa mujer, aceptar que gane más que 'el, que opine con sabiduría, que tenga liderato y tome iniciativa. Entonces, ¿qué hace? Hay hombres a los que se les hace difícil bregar con eso, y entonces buscan una que no los rete intelectualmente, que no compita con ellos en sueldo, y que no rete su autoridad, con la que se sienta que todavía está en control de las situaciones, menos evolucionada en esos aspectos”.
Por otro lado, “hay hombres que cuando se encuentran con esta mujer (moderna), ante esa incapacidad de poder bregar con ella, utiliza mecanismos más primitivos, como atacar su autoestima; un ejemplo de eso sería decirle ‘¿te crees más inteligente que yo? Si tienes esos títulos es porque yo te los pagué. Sin mí serías nadie’”. Y expone que “al no tener la capacidad de atacar el argumento, ataca a la persona”.
Diversas las exigencias
Cabe mencionar que la independencia y el éxito profesional de esta mujer influyen en sus exigencias respecto al compañero que desea a su lado. “La mujer moderna, realizada, (el hombre) no la enamora como a la mujer de antaño. Ahora la enamoras con el cerebro”, menciona Caraballo. “Quiere hombres que le den esa seguridad de compromiso, de que vas a estar ahí. No necesita que la mantengan. No es el físico o el poder material que pueda tener él; eso es más para la mujer que no está tan desarrollada”, revela.
De otra parte, el psicólogo aclara que, aunque en menor proporción, “hay hombres que sí valoran la mujer intelectual y moderna, que han tenido la flexibilidad y la sensibilidad de valorar las cualidades que no se ven a simple vista”. Y al describirlos, señala que se trata de “hombres que han tenido la seguridad de dejarse llevar por alguna mujer que está a un nivel más alto para aprender, y llegar a ser mejor ser humano a través de la transacción interpersonal con esa mujer”.
Presente el machismo
A su vez, la psicóloga clínica Omayra Rivera Rivera analiza que “luego de muchos siglos de dominación masculina, la mujer cuenta con muchos más poderes que antes”. Y además de que cada día “juega un papel más importante, reconoce que no es inferior, sino más compleja y multifuncional”. Pero lograr este poder “y ser autosuficientes dificulta encontrar una pareja y establecer una relación estable”.
Por supuesto, “a medida que la mujer se supera, sus necesidades y requerimientos crecen”. Por lo tanto, no sorprende que “mientras más exitosa sea una mujer, sus exigencias en cuanto a la pareja ideal aumentarán”. Y entre tales atributos suele figurar “un hombre soltero y sin complicaciones, como hijos o pensiones alimentarias. Exigen un hombre intelectualmente competente y seguro de sí mismo”.
La doctora también señala que “en la cultura latina predomina aún el machismo”. En este sentido, el hombre “está acostumbrado a mantener cierto control, ser el que pague en el restaurante y sentirse indispensable”. De ahí que “el que una mujer sea lista, inteligente, profesional e independiente, mucho más en el aspecto económico, tiende a intimidar o asustarlo aún más”. Y añade que “la falta de madurez, baja autoestima e inseguridad son características del hombre que se siente intimidado ante el hecho de tener una mujer profesional, inteligente y que genere mayor ingreso económico. Algunos hombres no pueden soportar la posición de independencia de la mujer”
Además, independientemente del hecho “de que las mujeres profesionales han ido en mayor aumento que los hombres, no deja de ser una realidad que todavía existe el concepto mujer, madre y familia”. Por lo tanto, “de manera indirecta, esta ‘presión social’ permite la entrada a sentimientos de culpa ante ‘ haber priorizado mi vida profesional a la de establecer una familia’”.
Con relación a ser exigente al buscar pareja, la psicóloga aclara que esto “no debe considerarse una desventaja, pero en ocasiones sí lo es”. Hay que reconocer que “la mujer profesional, tanto por su preparación, experiencias y edad ha alcanzado una mayor madurez”. Esto implica el deseo de encontrar “una persona intelectualmente competente, independiente a nivel económico y otras tantas cualidades afines con sus expectativas”. Ahora bien, teniendo en cuenta que “todas estas exigencias son cada vez más difíciles de alcanzar o cumplir”, entonces sí “puede convertirse en una desventaja”.
A esto cabe añadir que la mujer profesional “tiende a postergar su vida personal, por poner en función su vida profesional”. La meta por lograr un equilibrio entre ser madre, mujer y profesional puede complicarse. “Encontrar un hombre ideal puede resultar difícil, ya que éste debe cumplir con muchos requerimientos que tienden a no ser muy realistas”.
No te confundas
La psicóloga especifica que, además de la realidad que conlleva ser una mujer realizada a nivel profesional y tener éxito en la búsqueda de pareja, “muchas veces las causas de que una persona no encuentre pareja están en ella misma”. Por eso menciona que “si nos lanzamos en la búsqueda de expectativas muy elevadas e irreales, difícilmente podamos lograr lo que nos proponemos”. En este caso, “es necesario establecer ejercicios de introspección para determinar tanto nuestras fortalezas como debilidades”. Una vez estemos “seguras de nosotras mismas, tenemos que ser conscientes de que hay cosas externas que provienen de la otra parte, y de las cuales no tenemos control”.
Para citas con el Dr. Luis Caraballo, psicólogo clínico: 787-766-0940
La Dra. Omayra Rivera Rivera es psicóloga clínica y ejerce práctica privada en la calle Paraná #1666, en Río Piedras. Para citas: 787-608-0433
Mantén la ilusión
En el propósito de encontrar pareja, ten presente los siguientes consejos:
1 Valórate Antes de ir en la búsqueda de pareja, asegúrate de contar con amor propio y valía personal.
2 Evita culparte En esta circunstancia en particular, comprende que se trata de una situación fuera de tu control.
3 Sé realista Nunca lograrás tu objetivo si te fijas metas poco proporcionadas a la realidad.
4 Abandona el miedo Si temes lanzarte a la búsqueda, corres el riesgo de quedarte plantada en el mismo lugar.
5 Sé fiel a lo que buscas Dentro de un marco realista, no bajes tus estándares. No aceptes estar al lado de alguien que no cumple tus expectativas sólo por miedo a la soledad. Y mucho menos, estar con una pareja que no te valora.
6 Date la oportunidad Mantente alerta y ten cuidado de no dejar pasar - ni sabotear- buenas oportunidades en el amor.
7 No pierdas la fe Evita apoyarte en experiencias pasadas desagradables para creer que nunca alguien te valorará. Cada persona es distinta.
Rosa Escribano / Primera Hora
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Trasalated with google (sorry but is too much to traslate by myself)
We live in an era when more and more women seek their way into the goal to be successful and self sufficient. Being a lawyer, doctor, designer or business are aspirations for decades might seem impossible for females.
However, it seems that this progress is in keeping with the desire to find your soul mate and live a stable relationship. It would appear to be prepared academically and have an acceptable economic compensation serves as a brake to many candidates who are in these circumstances less attractive reasons for a woman.
"They are doing very difficult, and is a complaint that every time I'm hearing from many women in my practice, "says clinical psychologist Luis Caraballo. "Many show levels of hopelessness, frustration, they wonder 'will I be alone the rest of my life? " he adds.
However, it seems that this progress is in keeping with the desire to find your soul mate and live a stable relationship. It would appear to be prepared academically and have an acceptable economic compensation serves as a brake to many candidates who are in these circumstances less attractive reasons for a woman.
"They are doing very difficult, and is a complaint that every time I'm hearing from many women in my practice, "says clinical psychologist Luis Caraballo. "Many show levels of hopelessness, frustration, they wonder 'will I be alone the rest of my life? " he adds.
He is also professor of psychiatry at the Medical Sciences Campus discloses that "women have evolved on many levels, not only professional but also personal and social level. Overall, the level of maturity, emotional intelligence is more evolved than men, although there are exceptions. "In turn, states that "women today are much safer, he understands and knows what it deserves as a human being, and with this I do not mean material things. "
The doctor said that with this panorama, "there are men who find it more difficult to deal with a woman with those qualities, hence it is so common to see how" do seek one that is not as developed in these areas ".
Very confident
The psychologist reiterated that "the woman of today is self-made, does not need anything, is safer, but often it is these characteristics that make men get scared. "
Caraballo emphasizes that "the level of play went up. Today, the woman who comes to a major league level, you'll want a man of big leagues. She aspires to something less than what she has achieved. "
To dwell on this reality, the doctor said that "man is more difficult to meet this woman, accept that earns more than the 'who opine wisely, taking leadership and take initiative. So what does? There are men who find it difficult to deal with it, and then look for one that does not challenge them intellectually, that does not compete with them in salary, and not to challenge his authority, he sits still in control situations, less advanced in those areas. "
On the other hand, "there are men who when faced with this woman (modern), to the inability to deal with it, use more primitive mechanisms such as attacking their self-esteem, an example of that would say 'do you think you're smart I? If you have these titles is because I will pay them. Without me you would be one '. "And states that "by not having the ability to attack the argument attack the person. "
The psychologist reiterated that "the woman of today is self-made, does not need anything, is safer, but often it is these characteristics that make men get scared. "
Caraballo emphasizes that "the level of play went up. Today, the woman who comes to a major league level, you'll want a man of big leagues. She aspires to something less than what she has achieved. "
To dwell on this reality, the doctor said that "man is more difficult to meet this woman, accept that earns more than the 'who opine wisely, taking leadership and take initiative. So what does? There are men who find it difficult to deal with it, and then look for one that does not challenge them intellectually, that does not compete with them in salary, and not to challenge his authority, he sits still in control situations, less advanced in those areas. "
On the other hand, "there are men who when faced with this woman (modern), to the inability to deal with it, use more primitive mechanisms such as attacking their self-esteem, an example of that would say 'do you think you're smart I? If you have these titles is because I will pay them. Without me you would be one '. "And states that "by not having the ability to attack the argument attack the person. "
Different requirements
It should be mentioned that the independence and professional success of this woman affect their demands on your partner to want on your side. "Modern woman, held, (the man) did not love as a woman of yesteryear. Now fall in love with the brain, "says Caraballo. "He wants people to give you that assurance of commitment, you will be there. No need to maintain it. There is physical or material power can have it, that's more for the woman who is not so developed, "he reveals.
On the other hand, the psychologist clarifies that, although to a lesser extent, "there are men who do value intellectual and modern women who have had the flexibility and responsiveness to assess the qualities that are not seen with the naked eye. " And to describe them, says it is "men who have had the security of being carried away by a woman on a higher level to learn and become better human beings through the interpersonal transaction with that woman. "
It should be mentioned that the independence and professional success of this woman affect their demands on your partner to want on your side. "Modern woman, held, (the man) did not love as a woman of yesteryear. Now fall in love with the brain, "says Caraballo. "He wants people to give you that assurance of commitment, you will be there. No need to maintain it. There is physical or material power can have it, that's more for the woman who is not so developed, "he reveals.
On the other hand, the psychologist clarifies that, although to a lesser extent, "there are men who do value intellectual and modern women who have had the flexibility and responsiveness to assess the qualities that are not seen with the naked eye. " And to describe them, says it is "men who have had the security of being carried away by a woman on a higher level to learn and become better human beings through the interpersonal transaction with that woman. "
Present machism
In turn, the clinical psychologist analyzes Rivera Omayra Rivera that "after centuries of male domination, women have many more powers than before." And that every day "plays a greater role, recognizes that it is inferior, but more complex and multifunctional." But achieving this power "and self-sufficiency difficult to find a mate and establish a stable relationship."
Of course, "as the woman is overcome, their needs and requirements grow." Therefore not surprising that "the more successful a woman is, their demands on the partner increase." And among such attributes often include "an unmarried man and without complications, such as children or alimony. They demand a man intellectually competent and confident. "
The doctor also noted that "in Latin culture still dominates the machismo." In this sense, man "is used to maintain some control, to be the pay in the restaurant and feel indispensable." Hence, "where a woman is ready, smart, professional and independent, much more in the economic aspect, it tends to intimidate or frighten him even more." He added that "immaturity, low self esteem and insecurity are characteristic of the man who feels intimidated by having a professional woman, intelligent and generate more income. Some men can not support the position of women's independence "
Moreover, regardless of the fact that "professional women have gone quicker pace than men, no longer a reality that still exists the concept woman, mother and family." Therefore, "an indirect way, this 'social pressure' allows entry to feelings of guilt to 'have prioritized my professional life to establish a family'."
With respect to be picky when looking for couples, the psychologist clarifies that this "should not be considered a disadvantage, but sometimes yes it is." We must recognize that "the professional woman, both in their preparation, experience and age has become more mature." This implies the desire to find "a person intellectually competent, independent, economically and many other qualities related to their expectations." However, considering that "all these requirements are increasingly difficult to reach or meet," then it "can become a handicap."
This should be added that the professional woman "tends to postpone his personal life, according to his professional life." The goal to achieve a balance between being a mother, professional woman can become complicated. Finding an ideal man can be difficult because it must meet many requirements that tend to be very realistic. "
In turn, the clinical psychologist analyzes Rivera Omayra Rivera that "after centuries of male domination, women have many more powers than before." And that every day "plays a greater role, recognizes that it is inferior, but more complex and multifunctional." But achieving this power "and self-sufficiency difficult to find a mate and establish a stable relationship."
Of course, "as the woman is overcome, their needs and requirements grow." Therefore not surprising that "the more successful a woman is, their demands on the partner increase." And among such attributes often include "an unmarried man and without complications, such as children or alimony. They demand a man intellectually competent and confident. "
The doctor also noted that "in Latin culture still dominates the machismo." In this sense, man "is used to maintain some control, to be the pay in the restaurant and feel indispensable." Hence, "where a woman is ready, smart, professional and independent, much more in the economic aspect, it tends to intimidate or frighten him even more." He added that "immaturity, low self esteem and insecurity are characteristic of the man who feels intimidated by having a professional woman, intelligent and generate more income. Some men can not support the position of women's independence "
Moreover, regardless of the fact that "professional women have gone quicker pace than men, no longer a reality that still exists the concept woman, mother and family." Therefore, "an indirect way, this 'social pressure' allows entry to feelings of guilt to 'have prioritized my professional life to establish a family'."
With respect to be picky when looking for couples, the psychologist clarifies that this "should not be considered a disadvantage, but sometimes yes it is." We must recognize that "the professional woman, both in their preparation, experience and age has become more mature." This implies the desire to find "a person intellectually competent, independent, economically and many other qualities related to their expectations." However, considering that "all these requirements are increasingly difficult to reach or meet," then it "can become a handicap."
This should be added that the professional woman "tends to postpone his personal life, according to his professional life." The goal to achieve a balance between being a mother, professional woman can become complicated. Finding an ideal man can be difficult because it must meet many requirements that tend to be very realistic. "
Make no mistake
Psychologist specifies that in addition to the reality that comes with being a successful woman in professional and succeed in online dating, "often causes a person to find couples are not themselves." So states that "if we jump in the search for very high and unrealistic expectations, we can hardly achieve what we set out." In this case, "it is necessary to establish introspective exercises to determine both our strengths and weaknesses." Once we are "safe for ourselves, we must be aware that there are external things from the other party, and we have no control."
Keep the illusion
In order to find a partner, remember these tips:
1 Love yourself Before going in search of a couple, make sure you have self-esteem and personal worth.
2 Avoid blame yourself in this particular circumstance, realize that this is a situation beyond your control.
3 Be realistic never achieve your goal if you set goals provided little reality.
4 Leave the fear If you're afraid to plunge into the search, you run the risk of staying planted in the same place.
5 Be true to what you want within a realistic framework, do not lower your standards. Do not accept being next to someone who does not meet your expectations only by fear of loneliness. Let alone, being with a partner who does not value you.
6 Take the opportunity to Stay alert and be careful not to miss - or sabotage-good chances in love.
7 Do not lose faith in lean Avoid unpleasant past experiences to believe that someone never assessed. Each person is different.
Keep the illusion
In order to find a partner, remember these tips:
1 Love yourself Before going in search of a couple, make sure you have self-esteem and personal worth.
2 Avoid blame yourself in this particular circumstance, realize that this is a situation beyond your control.
3 Be realistic never achieve your goal if you set goals provided little reality.
4 Leave the fear If you're afraid to plunge into the search, you run the risk of staying planted in the same place.
5 Be true to what you want within a realistic framework, do not lower your standards. Do not accept being next to someone who does not meet your expectations only by fear of loneliness. Let alone, being with a partner who does not value you.
6 Take the opportunity to Stay alert and be careful not to miss - or sabotage-good chances in love.
7 Do not lose faith in lean Avoid unpleasant past experiences to believe that someone never assessed. Each person is different.
Let me know what you think about it.
1 comments:
Estoy completamente de acuerdo, la verdad es que encontrar tiempo para el amor cuando mi jornada laboral se puede dilatar hasta 10 horas diarias es francamente complicado, ya que cuando llega el fin de semana estoy francamente rendida
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